I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
