I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
