They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
