Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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