Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
When are your genitals available?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
