so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
