if i can run in heels then i can drive
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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