Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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