Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize