Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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