Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
