ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
