ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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