It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
