Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You can't special order awesome
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
