the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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