we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
