last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
