I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
tell me about the fingering
Randomize