she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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