I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
