question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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