thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
