I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
there was a trapeze. enough said
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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