So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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