i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
