she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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