That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
