she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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