New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
