New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
