if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
