the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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