I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
