are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
