Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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