They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
