Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
