I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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