He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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