and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
