But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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