yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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