piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
