THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
