I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
