Kiss
Puke
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He felt like a one man threesome
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
