So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Two words: nipple clamps
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