I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
