i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
