Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
