I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
