Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just gargled with NyQuil
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
