My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
