ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I need to sanitize my soul.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
