i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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