OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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