like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
