i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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