Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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