Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
