yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just want nice things and good sex
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
