How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
