Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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