Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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