For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
