dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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