Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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